It started with a premonition of a elderly millionaire man sitting in his car outside the park and his lover dressed in beautiful long skirt, golden in colour, mermaid looking shape with long dark hair, columbian body shape. She said her goodbyes and walked off only to hear the old man crying. She came back to say goodbye once more and wondered off.
He continued to sob away, transitioning to sit on a bench near by when I appear before his face. Looking at him in the eyes, examining his facial skin and teeth, I could see all the wrinkles and the old aged skin sagging on his face yet his eyes were young and playful.
‘’All I want is to make her happy and serve her the best I can’’ he said.
I checked…she was still walking away, doing her thing. Hm…
‘’Yes, of course you do old man’’ I thought to myself…
You cant do that…you just cant do that anymore you get me. Serving her and not serving yourself first isn’t going to work. How can you want to serve her if you don’t want to serve yourself first, I don’t get it, and it doesn’t work!
You have gone beyond the point of being in service to others and you no longer are in service to others because you don’t serve yourself.
She is a representation of yourself and since she is walking away you are crying, thinking you are loosing her.
She is her own individual and you are you so you ‘gorraa’ pay attention to yourself first. Look at you, your sadness is clear…you don’t do it for yourself anymore, you do it for her and that is wrong.
It’s not working. Its not serving. It’s causing you pain and you got to wake up, go back. Go back to your own needs and wants. Start with yourself first old man. Im serious.
I teach about being responsive to The Self as one of the steps on the road to feeling alive and feeling the love again. Please if you (who is reading this) have also found yourself sad, then book yourself for the Playful Course.
The youngness of that old man made me realise that we will always look to feel alive and we will always look to feel joy, love and excitement.
I saw it in his eyes, this vibration does not get old. It doesn’t age.
Being playfully responsive to your needs and wants is the first step, I think so go ahead and take it.
With love and with light