A man’s habit and for all the ladies who have boyfriends, husbands, partners, male human beings in their everyday life.
So you have a man at home who has “bad” habit. He works long long hours, he drinks alcohol every night, he doesn’t use cream on his hands to soften the skin even though his hands work hard everyday with tools of all weight. He doesn’t go to the dentist, he doesn’t speak about his emotions, his feelings, his day, how pissed of he is of his mundane repetitive job or how he wants to tell the computer screen to fuck off.
Whatever it may be on your end, acknowledge the habit is how it is for him. Not you. It’s for him. He knows no other way. Men barge forward by natures given. That’s just what they do and what they are designed for. Push forward, similar to having sex, and how their penis pushes in and in!
Great, If I can wake all the men up and tell them that when a women is talking, sharing, venting out something, she is doing just that and not looking for the man to solve the problem or do anything other than listen, I will.
Since I cant do that. I am gonna teach you a lesson instead.
Now, perhaps you have already told your man that he should stop doing that “bad” habit, it’s not good for him, he should take care of himself and god knows what else, right. I love it.
Did it work?
May be, may be not.
So… here is the lesson. We add a touch of Playfulness to the table and it goes like this:
The tree roots, The tree trunk and crown, The three light.
That’s right, the tree light is where its at. Check-in with your voice when you tell him to stop doing something or to start doing something else.
What’s the tone of your voice, is it friendly enough, is it mother sounding or perhaps is “Telling Off”.
Then, consider demonstrating for him. If his hands’ skin needs moisture, take a moment, a moisturise and call him over, simple say: “Can I have your hands?”, reach your hands out too.
Dreadful moment: “Why?”
Look at him briefly and say: “Just cos I wanna moisturise them!”
Nothing more,nothing less. You wait for his answer, which will be “Yeah alright then” and then you keep silent, dive into the moment, take a blob of moisturise and go slow!
You can repeat this as many times as you want, knowing eventually, he will get used to it and look for it, he will start doing it himself when you do stop eventually.
Adapt this to whatever the habit he has that you wish to change. Be the change. Check your voice, check your intention, check if you are rushing or if you are accusing him.
Be the light on the tree as well as the tree. Find that extra stretch in you to expend out, become the light.
Adding playfulness is exactly what’s needed. If you want to learn more about becoming playful on the road to self-love and self-care please do the six weeks process I create for you. You can find more details here.
The shift has to happen in us first and then we can expect to see the others around us change too.
I recently started oil pulling in the morning and I enjoy it, I make it fun for myself so my boyfriend is keen on trying it out too and that’s really not his cup of tee. He loves beer.
Men are actually very gentle creatures but they push themselves to edges and beyond. We, the women, however are the energy and the space that is beyond the edge so…
If you want more tips with communication feedback and encouragement, please email me. You can safely share with me and I will give you my honest feedback on how do you sound when you say x y z to him and then we can create a way to go forward together so that we see the change.
Look out for my next post when I reveal the benefits of The Playful Six Weeks Process.
Love and light for now.
p.s. if you are a man reading this, please pass it over to your women and/or consider this insight for yourself, tell it to the feminine side of you, the one that is restoratative and healing. Go easy, go slow.
This week Teal teaches how to change the habit of Yes to No and No to Yes. Watch here.